New Jersey

New Jersey

Been up since 3am, I couldn’t sleep any longer. I wrote a long letter and went for a walk about at 6am. I found a copy of the Joy of Sex lying on the side of the road. I read a few entries:

…sex from behind is good standing, lying, or kneeling.

….anal sex is not recommended anymore because of aids, though most couples try it at least once. Some continue because of the pleasurable tightness for men and the intensified feeling for women….

Stopped in a shop to buy a jar of coffee…a seemingly innocent thing to do. The shopkeeper said:

“I’ll give you a bag for that. They see it, they will take it. You know what these people are like.”

Not sure what that was about.

**
We drove through Newark on the way from the Greyhound station. Loads of memories flood my mind. I was born in Newark and lived here until I was 9.

Mind flashes:

…coming on the train, being picked up by grandpa Harvey Lee in his great big lime green Cadillac…

…cold nights walking up Elizabeth avenue with Val to get home before dark…being a afraid because it was dark and bad people came out at night…we lived in a bad neighborhood with bad people…

…hearing a loud pop, pop…saying to my mom that sounds like gun shots….mom says no I didn’t, only to be shortly confronted by a bleeding man in his boxer shorts pleading for help because he had been mugged and shot… My mom didn’t help him, she hurried us along…

We drove by the daycare center I went to as a toddler:

…feelings of abandonment and hurt…

I never did like that place.

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