I might be a cybernetic organism

Friday snuck up on me. My head is pounding. This is the second day in a row I’ve developed a headache in the late afternoon. Trying to think if I’ve changed anything that may be the cause. It’s not a migraine, just a normal headache. Today I’m half tempted to snort a couple of shots of whisky. It is Friday …

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Stroke My Terror

You don’t want to go where this leads I dropped my airpod on your breasts You never give me your honey but the coffee you serve is the best I stroke my terror to find joy Oh I’m going to burn in Hell alright I promise I’ll burn well though ‘cause mother said if you’re going to do it do …

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Why so glum chum?

And maybe it’s language itself that has disconnected us from our feelings. We are corralled into this constant striving to be happy as if happy is the only emotion worth feeling Why so glum chum? When we meet a glum chum we make it our mission to cheer them up, to get them back into a happy place. Why not …

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I want to feel more

It was a day of being everybody’s Yoda.  A role of which I am ok with, but by the end of it, I’m mentally drained.  Normally I’d pop on some tunes and veg out, but I have lots to do in a short period of time. How do you know how you feel? e.e. cummings wrote that “a poet is …

And that’s the trouble with poetry

I awoke this morning to the hammering sound of rain. Just what you want out of your Monday morning – dark, wet, gloom. I made a batch of strong, dark coffee to match the mood. I turned to my one true source of motivation – books. I cracked open Matthew Zapruder’s new book, Why Poetry. He’s on a mission to …

I hastily packed a small rucksack, grabbed some trail mix, and hit the road

I finished the The Lost Writings of Jim Morrison. It was an interesting journey. Morrison didn’t date his notebook/journal entries so the editors had to work extra hard at determine which writings belong to which time period. Morrison wrote his poems in layered drafts and often wrote and rewrote them iteratively and across multiple notebooks. So making sure they had …

Saturday night in the swamp

It’s been a relatively quiet day.  You need days like these from time to time.  My buddy Z stopped by for a couple of Coronas in the garden.  We are of similar age.  Consequently we’ve bee having similar thoughts about life, the universe, and everything. I think we’ve both concluded that tapping back into the simple pleasures of life and …

Christmas in September and Chasing Deer

Friday night.  Pizza consumed. Beer consumed. No client facing work today. Instead I met Cherry, my new co-author, in town for coffee and cake and to go over the first draft of our chapbook.  I’m supplying the words and she is primarily supplying the imagery.  Cherry and I are both high yellow energy so it’s no surprise that by the …

Drink nectar with the gods

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. – Revelations 3:16 I’m tired. So if I nod off please forgive me. It was one of those drive 2 hours, deliver a 2 hour workshop, and drive 2 hours back home kind of days. A strong black coffee is in …

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Staring into the void and getting nothing back

This is what we’re up against fellow blogging revolutionaries: This has to stop! We have to resort to guerrilla tactics and use the big boy’s strength against them! Bloggers unite. What if you looked inside and found nothing there? What then? That’s what I feel sometimes when I’m staring into the void and find there’s nothing there. I scream into …

I’m trying to be all Zen, but it’s not working

“If you’re not talking large numbers, what’s the point.” – paraphrasing Jay-z I think I may have made the damn near perfect cup of coffee this morning. Morning thoughts | #coffeetime #bw #photo A post shared by Clay Lowe (@soulcruzer) on Sep 18, 2017 at 9:32pm PDT I love Hunter S. Thompson’s flow. I don’t want to ape his style, …

Do I dare disturb the universe?

[perfectpullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission. And for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.;[/perfectpullquote] If you’re into your war films, you’ll recognised that from the opening sequence of Apocalypse Now.  Martin Sheen, who plays Captain Benjamin L. Willard, A Special Forces officer, is …

Some would call that being jaded

My day happened in fragments.  I woke up with this question on my mind: What dream am I chasing now? One of the problems I’ve had over the past couple of years is trying to force myself to stay excited about the things that used to get me fired up like climbing mountains, and travel to different places experiencing new …

Our choices are half chance

I looked on my Goodreads app.  I have 54 books in currently-reading status! My reading goal this year is 100 books.  I’m on 19. I read according to mood or what I want to explore on any given day.  Currently I’m bouncing between the Olson biography and his Selected Poems and Ginsberg’s Journals and Jim Morrison’s poems, both the Wilderness …

Movement on my mind

The more you move the better you feel. One of my intentions this year was to move more. I started off well, as you tend to do, but as T.S. Eliot wrote: Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act Falls the Shadow Now it’s time to shine some light back on the subject, get my …

To The Other Side

Let’s make a run for the spectators who hesitated at the moment of freedom, sacrificed all the books, all the paintings and the music. Burnt the old culture to the ground. It’s an impossible situation. The old gods formed a circle, held hands, sang Kumbaya until the lady with the insect eyes left the hollow vacant field. She wasn’t looking …

Are you feeling ok?

I can’t believe how excited I get about a book. I found a package on the stairs that had this in it: I could feel my face light up like a little school boy with a new toy. And of course I was suppose to be doing something else, but I had to stop and flick through the pages, turn …

Completely changed my worldview

Books are a habit worse than heroine for me. I can’t get enough of them. I read the preface of the Allen Ginsberg Journals this morning. I have yet to finish the Olson book, but I couldn’t help taking a peek inside the Journals. Am I on a quest to find the self, dissolve the self, or to self-actualise and …

I am doomed

I’ve been reading a lot of poetry over the past few months…Rimbaud, Robbins, Kaur, Broder, Addonizio, Bonta, Olson, Hanes, among others… what I am beginning to realise but have probably always known is that I like the weird and wonderful, stuff that’s offbeat and odd like neo-expressionism, real psychedelic mind fuck kind of stuff. I just read The Thing Was …

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I had to find her the old fashioned way

5A.M Thoughts – We are all afraid to act like ourselves. I read that from a passage in Allen Ginsberg’s journal. That is so true.  Walk into a room full of people and if you’re like me, you probably size up the room before deciding how you want to show yourself.  If it’s a room full of friends, you’ll show …