I never imagined ghosting to be hard work

“Be here NOW!”
Shouted the ghost of Dr. Ignafo. This was the third night this week he’d appeared at the foot of my bed.

He looked over the top of his glasses (you knew he was serious when he looked over his glasses) to make sure he had my attention.

He continued: “Be here now in this place, in this time. Forget your current plan. The new plan is to have no plan. As for rules, forget about the rules. From now on the only rule is to have no rule. And the most important thing is to annihilate the most important thing. Do you understand that?!”

“Sir! Yes sir!” (Not sure why I was acting like a private again.)

“Good. Now get back to sleep you filthy maggot!”

“Sir can I ask a question?” I half expected him to say, there are no questions.

“Sure kid, what is it you want to ask me?” He looked tired as if he’d been playing this role too long. I never imagined ghosting to be hard work.

“Is there any soy gelato in the afterlife?”

“Only if you end up in Hell.”

And with that, he disappeared and I woke up in a cold sweat.

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