I’m tired of chasing ghosts. These elusive and insubstantial phantoms that manifest themselves as distractions and obsessions and keep me from truly living in the present. It doesn’t matter which form they take whether they’re shadows of past regrets, spectres of unattainable aspirations, or mirages of societal expectations, they pull me away from my centre, fragment my attention, and dilute my sense of self.

Chasing ghosts reminds me of Plato’s allegory of the cave, where prisoners are shackled to cave floor and forced to watch shadows on the wall, which they then mistake for reality because it’s the only reality they’ve ever known. These shadows are like the ghosts I chase. They keep me fixated on what I think I should be or have, rather than engaging with the authenticity of my immediate experience. I’m like Luke Skywalk when Yoda accuses him of never being present, that his mind is always somewhere else—the past, the future—never his mind on where he was at, on what he was doing.” That’s me, more often than not.

Some might say that these ghosts are unresolved aspects of my psyche, the disowned parts of my Shadow self. They would say that when I chase after these ghosts, I’m essentially avoiding the confrontation with my own inner darkness (my fears and insecurities). And instead, I project them outward by creating external enemies and obsessions that keep me from the introspective work I need to do in order to manifest true self-understanding and growth.

Sartre would say chasing ghosts is a manifestation of bad faith that I was avoiding the anxiety that comes with absolute freedom and responsibility. He would say I was distracting myself from the task of creating authentic meaning in my life. That I “can’t handle the truth” of who I truly am and so I opt for the comfort of well-worn paths and seek safety in societal norms despite my true desires.

Who are these ghosts? Sometimes they are the ideals and dreams that once inspired me but now serve more as burdens than beacons. Sometimes the ghosts manifest themselves as the pursuit of perfection, the need for constant validation or the relentless drive to achieve more. These ghosts haunt my daily existence, taunting me with thoughts that I am never enough as I am, that I must keep striving, keep running, lest I fall into the abyss of mediocrity.

The Remedy

There is a different path, I’m told, one less travelled in our fast-paced, achievement oriented culture. It is the path of mindfulness, of presence, of being. It’s a path that promises to help me align with the flow of life with an ease and naturalness that would free me from the compulsive need to chase.

To stop chasing ghosts would be a radical act of self-liberation for me. It would mean I could embrace the here and now, with all of its imperfections and uncertainties. I would be able to recognise the ghosts for what they are—intangible and insubstantial—and therefore let them go. And in their place, I could engage with the tangible, the real, the stuff that requires courage, like sitting with discomfort to face the unresolved.

To leave the ghosts behind and find peace in the midst of chaos, I must pause, breathe, and let the ghosts fade into the background, and then sit still and truly see.