who else can i be

Ok listen. I’m going to play for a while so if things get a bit weird on here, don’t panic. It’s just a phase.  Pardon me while I burst into flames, a line I borrowed from Incubus, perfectly describes my state of mind.  But as the Smashing Pumpkins sang;

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

So much for that.  Anyway, i took a roadtrip down to Cheltenham to watch the boy graduate.  How many years has it been since i walked across the stage to receive my university diploma? 25 years! Egats man. Time is a beast.


This rat never saw it coming. i bought into the idealism of youth, those lofty dreams of changing the world, despite the fact that the world didn’t and doesn’t need changing. It is what it is.  Always has been, and will be long after I’m gone. Somebody pour me a drink. Get the whiskey flowing.  I can’t write another dry word.

This isn’t about me. It’s about you and me and us and them and they and aliens with space probes probing the dark galaxies that God abandoned when he saw creation had gone Pete Tong in him. I’m just God’s comic stuck here to suffer in this planet. I feel like I’m responsible but I can’t do it by myself. Once there was a girl. I lost her a long time ago in the garden. On days when the wind blows just right i can smell her presence.

I am

Who else can
I be
But myself
Even when
I am
To be
Someone else
I am
Still and only

Did I kill something in me when I let you go? When I stopped reading and following the knowledge trail until it ended in big gains, big game. I don’t remember all the names of the writer’s I read in those days. It was a time of fantasy and other worlds within worlds. I held the order in my mind. Then chaos seeped in. And I embraced her. She was bitter and sweet. Her breath smelled of ancient cigarettes and her small breasts were lost inside her cashmere sweater.

Who are you? Who do you fear you are? Who do you pretend to be to hide the Hyde within you?

Is there something wrong with me? Did I not turn out how you imagined me to be? One day there will be no more me or I and the dream will be permanent.

I would hate to get to the end of time and think, what a waste

of time.

Feeling good is good enough and I’m feeling good as good gets right now.



140 Characters

Rejoice in thy youth

This cracks me up:

Oh to be 25 again and have all that space and time to seek power and glory. Youth is wasted on the wrong people or so they tell me.  These days, I’m inclined to believe them.  I watch the youth from the sidelines and shake my head in despair.  You can’t tell them anything though. They won’t listen.  I didn’t listen.   25 years later, they’ll be the ones writing this post wondering where has the time gone.  I must be getting old…


Life Hacks

Purge, don’t organise

Time freedom is like a mythical creature we chase believing it will somehow make our lives better if we can find and catch it.

I was reading through this list of life hacks and noticed that a lot of the hacks are about saving time.

Americans spend 9.1 years of their lives watching TV, 1.1 years cleaning and 11 hours a day in front of digital media. In particular, women spend 8 years of their lives shopping, 1.5 years doing their hair and nearly 1 year deciding what to wear!Living a more minimalist lifestyle means we can reclaim some of this wasted time and spend it doing something we love – rather than standing in front of a jam-packed wardrobe despairing over which shoes work with which skirt!

A lot of these are functions of modern living. If you weren’t doing these, what would you be doing instead?  If you had an extra 2 hours a day, what would you do with it?

I think we have to question our basic priorities in order to rearrange how we spend our time.

That said, here are 19 minimalist hacks to maximise your life.  I particularly like:

Purge, don’t organise.
Organising now means reorganising later, again and again, and again. If you haven’t touched it in six months, toss it or re-home it, but don’t store it.

Use it or lose it.
Give your wardrobe a minimal overhaul and discover less stress getting dressed and lots of time saved on laundry.

Embrace new media.
Cancel your magazine subscription and stop buying the newspaper. Not only will Mother Nature be glad, but you will too. You don’t have to miss out, though, as everything you need can be consumed in digital format. While you’re at it, ‘opt out’ of junk mail and sign up for e-banking.

You can find the full list here.